Are women today so desperate for companionship, affection or marriage that they would enable a deadbeat Dad?
Unfortunately they seem to be.
What on earth could attract you to a lowlife child abuser? You think child abuser is too bold a statement? I assure you, it is not. Children that don’t have their Fathers in their lives are scientifically proven to have developmental disadvantages similar to that of abused children. Read more about it here;
https://www.all4kids.org/2018/06/07/a-fathers-impact-on-child-development/
So what if he is physically attractive, financially successful or attentive to you? At the end of the day he is only doing what serves his own interests. If you are naive enough to believe you are an exception to his cold hearted ways, you are only kidding yourself. Stop catering to him for a while and see just how much he “loves” you. Be honest with yourself and save your yourself the heartbreak. He only loves what you can do for him. If he were the loving and caring man you think he is, how could be abandon his own children?
You might be tempted to jump to his defense and claim that the Mother is to blame. He may have told you that she broke his heart, that she uses the kids as leverage, that she kicked him out…blah blah blah. No matter what he tells you, it’s all bullshit if he has ANY excuse for not being an active part of his children’s lives. Divorce and breakups have nothing to do with custody. Is he spending his extra time and money to go to court or is he spending on something else?
You’re still not convinced that you are enabling a deadbeat? Ok– let’s imagine your own children had a Father like him. A Father who was happy to create your children but just as happy to leave them behind in pursuit of other interests. A Father content to ignore your child’s every milestone. A Father willing to distance himself from his obligations by moving away. A Father who never calls to check in or check up. A Father who shows every day that his priorities are just for himself. Would you want a Father like that for your own children? Obviously not–so why have you convinced yourself that it is ok to enable him to do it to his own kids? If you tell him every day and in every way how worthy he is of your love and acceptance, you are telling him that no matter what he does, he is a good man. You are allowing him to believe that his choice to forget his parental responsibility is not only okay but attractive and desirable! You are encouraging him to continue his bad behavior and that– my dear– makes you a party to his abuse.
You may have also convinced yourself that if you marry him, he will magically be different and be with you forever. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news but marriage is nothing more than a thin sheet of paper to a man like this. If he could walk away from his children so easily, how easily could he walk away from his wife? Are you so delusional that you think he doesn’t know exactly what he is doing? Do you really think he has respect and love for you when you worship him regardless of his bad choices? If you accept and applaud his bad behavior in one way, he’ll think he can get away with anything because you are desperate enough to take it. After all, your desperation is the reason he is with you in the first place. That’s not love sweetie.
Do you want the world to be a better place for your children to live in? Do you hope that they find a love that is deep and lasting? Do you wish them a healthy life and family? If you do, I suggest that you stop enabling deadbeat Dads because believe it or not, they are responsible for the continuation of broken lives and broken families. Do not choose to be the woman who harbors him while he does it. You are better than that and you are worthy of more than that. Take your love, dedication and loyalty somewhere it won’t be wasted. You are not only hurting yourself by investing in a deadbeat, you are hurting children and that is unforgivable.
That’s all for today. Here’s hoping for a better tomorrow.
Mel's Perspective 